Friday, March 27, 2009

True Confessions

I have a confession: I am often more interested in celebrities’ lives than I am with my own.

I’m a proud, literature-reading, politics-discussing, deep-thinking human being. But some days? I could zone out and read Perez Hilton for hours. I always grab the US magazine or Star while I’m waiting in line at the grocery store and try to devour every picture I can of celebrities doing normal things. I pore over People.com, looking at picture after picture of celebs carrying bags artfully styled to look old. Bags that I couldn’t afford on six months of my salary. Bags that cost 10 times the amount of my first car.

When I can’t think of how to style my hair, or what shoes to wear with an outfit, I fall back on celebrities for advice. I look at my favorite stylish celebrities – the ones who want look like they’re not really trying, but clearly are – and try to mirror those looks. I go shopping in my own closet and pretend I’m Natalie Portman or Michelle Williams. But I am not. I am five inches taller and weigh at least 80 pounds more than either of them.

This was one of the most surprising things Greg discovered about me as we got to know one another. I love literary criticism, and I like to write, I like to listen to classical music when I'm working, and I sit in coffee shops and sip lattes and discuss deep, meaningful things. And suddenly, in the middle of everything, I’ll stop and spout off a fact about Trent Reznor composing a song for the Breakfast Club, which was passed over for “Don’t You (Forget About Me)”, a song which was rejected by Billy Idol, but ultimately became the biggest hit Simple Minds ever had. Or I can explain to you how Britney’s conservatorship works, in 100 words or less.

I can’t remember my bank account number. I have no idea where my 2006 taxes are. But if you want to hear direct quotes from Friends, want to know what Eva Longoria wore to the Oscars, or need to know the name of the artist of just about any top 40 pop song from 1985 and beyond, I’ve got it covered. I’m a pop culture queen.

Andy Warhol has nothing on me.

(This weekend I promise some pictures. They are beyond overdue.)

1 comment:

CocoBaiyya said...

Thank you for posting and letting me know that I am not the only one. :)