Thursday, December 31, 2009

Dear Weekend,

I’m so glad you are going to hang around an extra day this time. I always like when you pull Friday into your ranks. Would you mind doing that a bit more often, please?

Anywho, I have big plans for you and I. Here’s what I’m thinking; let me know if you like it:

1. Let’s organize all the crap I’ve stuffed under the spare bed. I know it’s there, you know its there, and most of it can probably be thrown away.

2. Let’s go see this with the Mister. I bet he’d really like to see it.

3. Let’s clear out the Christmas decorations. Because the tree is dry and the ornaments are starting to fall off of their own volition. I don’t want to see my Precious Moments (don’t judge, Weekend!) on a suicide mission.

4. Why don’t we finish reading Armageddon in Retrospect (I know how much you love Vonnegut), and start reading Wuthering Heights? It’s about time we got that one under our belts.

5. Let’s go to the gym. At least once. Come on, I know it’s not exactly fun, but none of my pants fit anymore, and since you’re having to add an extra day, I’m guessing you’re having the same problem. Things just don’t FIT.

6. I’ve got a few gift cards that need to be spent. Let’s take them on a whirlwind tour of the city, and then maybe return the shoes that I bought for the Mister, only to bring them home and discover they were both LEFTS. (Is there someone who took two rights? Did they mean to? Is their left foot shaped like their right one? I’m dying to know.)

7. Let’s make espresso and tea and coffee press coffee all day, every day. I love our new stovetop espresso maker, and I want to make sure it gets a fair shake in this world.

Love,
Me.

P.S. If we have time, maybe we should start working on organizing the computer at home. It’s in a sad state, and it really needs to be backed up and cleaned out. We could at least start organizing some of the files, couldn’t we? Come on… please? I could really use your help, Weekend.

Monday, December 28, 2009

A White Christmas With My Mister

Christmas was a hit. Our menu was straight from the Pioneer Woman’s website. Nearly every bit. And it was scrumptious. The biggest hit was this “Fancy Macaroni." It cost about a million dollars to make, what with all the fancy-schmancy cheeses in it, but it was so good that it was really worth it. My only suggestion would be to add a fancier meat to it –maybe mix bacon and pancetta. Not that it really needs to be more expensive.

The Mister really raked it in this year from me. I couldn’t stop myself buying his gifts. None of them were huge gifts, just a ton of small things – a miniature leatherman, a huge Maglite, clothes, a fossil watch and a lot of stocking stuffers. I loved watching him open them.

The Mister did pretty good for my gifts, and I walked away with a beautiful coat from Victoria’s Secret – something that has the princess seams to allow me to wear my cute party dresses with it. I’m looking forward to going to a party so I can try it out.

The biggest hit, though, were my stocking stuffers, or the lack thereof. The Mister had planned on getting them Christmas Eve, but we were slammed with a storm and the windshield wipers on the Mister’s car were unresponsive. So, he managed to hike in the sleet to get the meat for our meal, but stocking stuffers were out of the question. On Christmas morning, I was a little bummed, and I may or may not have acted like a spoiled brat. And then I had a genius idea.

“Mister?” I said.

“Yes, my love?” he looked sheepish, like I was going to go into full-on tantrum mode about my empty stocking.

“Could my stocking stuffers maybe be that you do everything I say today?”

He took no time in responding. “Sure!”

It was an easy out, and left us both feeling better. I immediately ordered him to water the Christmas tree. That was followed, in no particular order, by setting up the table, cleaning various things, and making the bed. After dinner, I announced to him that I wasn’t going to step in the kitchen again for the rest of the day, and he made it his personal mission to ensure it was cleaned and all the leftovers put away (with the help of our mothers). He fetched me water, made me espresso, and basically acted like the most ideal husband all day.

To top if off, he turned it into a weekend-long thing. Taking out the trash in two feet of snow (I would have asked, but our laundry room was filled with 4 full bags and starting to smell like a landfill), scratching my back for the longest time, watching movies with me, cleaning up while I enjoyed my new Zelda game and read a lovely book, and going outside in the ice cold to try to build a snowman. I felt pampered and loved and taken care of all weekend. I asked last night if it could become a tradition. It was far better than a stocking full of candy I didn’t need.

So, thank you to my Mister for forgetting to buy Reese’s Pieces and random crap to fill my stocking. I loved my “stocking stuffers” more than you can imagine. It made my Christmas simply wonderful.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

An Open Letter to Mommy Bloggers Everywhere

Dear Bloggers and Friends Whom I Love,

Please stop getting pregnant. And please post lots of things about how great it is NOT to be pregnant. Because seeing you with your growing bellies, glowing faces, and adorable knit goods bought from Etsy sellers is making my uterus ache. I don’t need a uterus ache. I am only 26.

Please use the next few posts to talk about how glad you were to wait 2 or 3 or 10 years into marriage to start trying for kids. Please tell me how glad you were that you had your twenties baby-free. And if you have kids? Please tell me how much longer you wished you’d waited before you got your beautiful little munchkins.

Because all the baby pictures and gushing about nurseries is starting to make me want one. And that is not in my life plan for the next couple of years. We are NOT ready for a baby. (Do you hear that, fallopian tubes?)

So, seriously. Stop. Stop getting pregnant, and stop posting adorable pictures of your sweet, tiny little humans. Stop making me think how much I want to make a tiny version of my Mister. Otherwise I think I might experience the miracle of conception by sheer force of will from my biological clock, bypassing all forms of birth control currently employed my Mister and I specifically to prevent that miracle.

Thanks

Jewelry Love

It's a little late for gifts from Etsy for Christmas, but Valentines isn't too far off. Just sayin...


This ring found via Bliss.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Greedy Much?

Dear Santa,

I would like this apron for Christmas:

Or maybe this one:

I know it’s desperately house-wifey to want an apron. I know I may be pushing the women’s movement back by 20 years. But the thing is, I love aprons. I love them especially when I’m wearing something nice, but I still want to do a little baking without getting flour all over my midsection as I lean against the counter. And I don’t think wearing an apron means I need to have a giant white monstrosity that says, “Kiss the Cook.” I want to look feminine and feel pretty while I throw ingredients around my little kitchen.

Really, Santa, you can get me just about any apron from
this page and I will love you for it.

Sincerely,

Jenn

P.S. If a Silpat baking mat was wrapped up in the apron, I don’t think I’d mind one bit.