Thursday, December 17, 2009

An Open Letter to Mommy Bloggers Everywhere

Dear Bloggers and Friends Whom I Love,

Please stop getting pregnant. And please post lots of things about how great it is NOT to be pregnant. Because seeing you with your growing bellies, glowing faces, and adorable knit goods bought from Etsy sellers is making my uterus ache. I don’t need a uterus ache. I am only 26.

Please use the next few posts to talk about how glad you were to wait 2 or 3 or 10 years into marriage to start trying for kids. Please tell me how glad you were that you had your twenties baby-free. And if you have kids? Please tell me how much longer you wished you’d waited before you got your beautiful little munchkins.

Because all the baby pictures and gushing about nurseries is starting to make me want one. And that is not in my life plan for the next couple of years. We are NOT ready for a baby. (Do you hear that, fallopian tubes?)

So, seriously. Stop. Stop getting pregnant, and stop posting adorable pictures of your sweet, tiny little humans. Stop making me think how much I want to make a tiny version of my Mister. Otherwise I think I might experience the miracle of conception by sheer force of will from my biological clock, bypassing all forms of birth control currently employed my Mister and I specifically to prevent that miracle.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just remember nose bleeds, turned over coffee, ruined expensive electronic devices, fewer date nights, poopy diapers and maybe you'll be able to resist a few more years full of just those few things. trust me, there is much, much more to come!!!! Wait!!! Enjoy your 20s!