Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Abra-CADABRA!

I've been MIA. I can't promise I'm back, but I've been told I should try to post more often. Here's me trying. Plus, I couldn't resist posting this interaction I had this morning, with a random employee who happened to pass by my desk and had a question for no one in particular.

Random employee: Who would know something about The Bridgeway Foundation? (Editor’s note: This is a research foundation, started from within our own company.)
My internal dialogue: Something? Like what it is? Or like which of the employees is getting laid? You’re going to have to be more specific about something.
Me: Well, what’s your question?
Random employee: Well, I got a check in the mail for them. And it looks like it’s been around and around, because no one knows what to do with it.
My internal dialogue: What do you mean you don’t know what to do with it? It’s a check. For them. Mail it to them. Is this really that hard for everyone to figure out?
Me: Well, we could put it in the mail to them.
Random employee: How do I do that? Where are they?
My internal dialogue: Are. You. Kidding. It is 2010, and you don’t know how to look up an address using that incredible, all-knowing thing they know the internet?
Me: Well, I don’t know, but I bet I can look it up online. (I then proceed to look up the address for her, by Googling “Bridgeway Foundation.” I didn't even break a sweat.)
My internal dialogue: Yes, let me take a moment out of my day to take care of this task for you. I wasn't doing anything else. Not at all. In fact, I spend most of my day, waiting for people to come by and ask me to do things for them that they can't, for some unknown reason, figure out for themselves.
Me: Let me just write this down for you...

Random employee: Oh. Well, it’s just that a patient accidentally sent it to us…
My internal dialogue: …and therefore it’s not your job. I know. So I suppose that makes it mine?


I handed her the address, written on a post-it, and went on about my day. For my next trick, I shall dial a phone number and get someone to talk to me from ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

I know. I'm amazing.